to deny self or to deny Christ?

Greetings Beloved! What an adventure this trip has been so far! Living with five other people out here in a nation that is not my home and with one purpose...to share the Love of Jesus the Messiah! So, a friend that the Lord brought into my life last year and has brought back into my life this year is Karina. A jewish woman born in England, yet makes her home her in Israel. Last year, this woman would not even dare to read the Bible, set in her mindset that she loves God and God loves her and that is all there is to it. This year, the Lord has been doing such an amazing work in her life. He has given us girls so much favor with her. She hangs out with us on a regular basis and feels so comfortable with us that she stops by our house whenever she wants without any notice of her stopping by. One of her first times at our house, she posed the question to me, "you know I still don't believe that Jesus is the Messiah, right?!" and I responded, "yeah i know." As she was sitting in our room, she looked at the wall where the passage from Psalm 139:17-19 is painted and she asked me what did that passage say, so reading the Word of God to hear of how precious she is to the Lord and how many thoughts He thinks towards her outnumber the grains of sand. This one conversation led into an hour conversation of the Prophecies that we find in the Tanakh (Old Testament) regarding the Jewish Messiah and was able to share with her how Jesus Himself was the fulfillment of those Prophecies. That one conversation led into the past couple of months hanging out with us and her coming to our Shabbat Dinners and then her receiving a Bible from us that included the New Testament and she has been reading the Word ever since and has been coming to us with endless questions and as she said it herself, "I'm coming to you guys to point me to Truth!" What an honor to be here and to have the opportunity to point His lost sheep to Him the Good Shepherd!!! What a humbling thing to be the mouthpiece to His chosen people, to the very people that received the commands of God from His very mouth and to now be here sharing it with them once again! Interesting to think that there are times though that I deny Christ by simply not reaching out to those around me because I think, "nah, they won't to hear what I have to say!" or the times that I stay to myself because of the thought, "what will they think of me? i'm just a gentile!" oh the countless times that I deny Christ because of the thoughts that fill my mind! And to think that Jesus Himself said that if anyone desires to follow after Him, they must first deny themselves and to pick up their cross daily and follow after Him. To think, for what reason do I not deny myself daily? or better yet, for who do I not deny myself? To think that every time I do not deny myself, somebody is going without hearing the Good News of Jesus! Every time I do not deny myself, somebody is on their way to an eternity apart from God!!! So the question in my mind today is, "Will I deny self or will I deny Christ?" to look at this question closely and to realize that the choice is simply one or the other.Being here in Israel, the question must be answered not only daily, but each moment. Remembering that I am out here for whole purpose to make Christ known and the times that I do not deny myself but rather give into the fear of man and into the thoughts that consume my mind with what people may think, than I am doing nothing less than denying Christ! So, here I am, with one month to go out here and the choices are set before me, to deny myself or deny Christ?! Which one leads to life? I encourage each one of us, to take what Jesus said to heart, to deny ourselves, to daily pick up our Cross and to follow after Him. Afterall, what good is it to gain the whole world and yet to lose our soul? So, let us this day deny everything that has to do with self and let us passionately pursue to know God! Thank you so much for your prayers. The Lord has been so faithful to answer each one. Please continue to pray for us as we have one more month out here in Israel.
Prayer Request:
*Deeper hunger for God
*Greater understanding of His love
*Compassion for the people of Israel
*to finish this trip strong
*continual unity in my leadership with Jordan*
continual team unity
*finances for the rest of this trip ($3,000 needed)